Comments
Nobody • January 12, 2018 1:48 PM
I think the option to direct a self-driving car to approach the phone’s location should be at 50 MPH.
EvilKiru • January 12, 2018 2:25 PM
@Nobody: It wouldn’t have been funny then.
@Nobody @EvilKiru @Wanda
“It’s T-T-T-Tesla. It’s t-t-t-trying to t-t-t-tread on me.”
Clive Robinson • January 12, 2018 3:58 PM
How about the StarTrek voice over….
Phone detects body heat and movment and at a random time at full volume says in the appropriate accebt,
- It’s life Jim but not as we know it
Sorry Jim she’s giving it all she’s got
Or one of many others
TimH • January 12, 2018 6:16 PM
The problem with draconian measures is that it just takes one false positive to inconvenience the owner.
Dr. Note • January 12, 2018 7:24 PM
albert • January 12, 2018 1:10 PM
I’m not sure, but ‘detonated’ seems a little draconian.
Not if the phone is a Samsung Galaxy Note 7.
Petre Peter • January 13, 2018 9:34 AM
Enable | Disable script: >_ say -v Siri “Good Cloudness! It seems you have an overdeveloped sense of ownership. Should I call the cops, or the real owner?”
Sean W. • January 14, 2018 10:01 PM
The Kids In The Hall basically did this joke back in the 90s:
Evan • January 15, 2018 5:44 AM
Funny, but part of the reason that it’s funny is that it gets at the basic problem of any kind of “hack back” measures (whether automatic or human-initiated): How do you ensure that the counter-attack only affects the party responsible for the attack, rather than innocent bystanders, hostages, or patsies?
Clive Robinson • January 15, 2018 8:24 AM
@ Even,
How do you ensure that the counter-attack only affects the party responsible for the attack, rather than innocent bystanders, hostages, or patsies?
Ahh the ethical question that the “results driven” US IC and LE do not bother to ask…
As former CIA and NSA boss Gen. Michael Hayden admitted in early 2014 the NSA uses metadata to kill people. Likewise Cops use their gut to shoot something like five recognizably innocent people just under every four days.
God alone knows how many they all keep hushed up one way or another each year…
But you don’t get to the top without throwing people under the bus to keep others in line. It’s just pot luck who gets to be todays examples to the world “arr you feeling lucky?” if not tough there’s always tommorow for your turn…
To reword,
- Cause baby there ain’t no aircraft high enough, Ain’t no hole deep enough, Ain’t no ocean wide enough to keep them from getting death to you.
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Sidebar photo of Bruce Schneier by Joe MacInnis.
albert • January 12, 2018 1:10 PM
I’m not sure, but ‘detonated’ seems a little draconian.
It may be possible to reprogram the fuel gauge chip to heat up the battery just a little bit.
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