This Major Vulnerability Could Fill Your Computer with Bees
Category
Vulnerabilities, Cybersecurity Fundamentals
Risk Level
This article was originally published on April 1, 2021
Hackers have found a new loophole in your computer configuration settings in order to harvest your honeypot of data and potentially close your business for good. They’re doing it with bees.
“How could bees get in my computer?”
Bees are actually already in every desktop computer built after the mid 2000’s, but at a microscopic level. This breed of Apis Arithmeticam was specially bred to carry out basic computations in the CPU once renowned computer engineer, Beatrice Wingenbach, discovered the only way to go smaller was biologically. This is how Hive Systems was born - to help manage and protect these tiny technological marvels.
“So What’s the Issue?”
Many failsafes are included to prevent the size of the hive from ever exceeding an 18.4 quintillion bee cap (for 64 bit processors). Initially, hackers tried increasing this cap by downloading more RAM to unsuspecting victims’ hard drives. This yielded unthreatening results as billions more microscopic bees were still of little to no threat with such small stingers. Since then, hackers have discovered how to remove the queen’s genetic inhibitor that regulates the bees microscopic size when reproducing, enabling rapid hive growth that could lead to a swarm forming overnight, as this one user discovered.
“What Can I Do About it?”
Unfortunately, not much. Genetic therapy is beyond the average user’s level of computer savviness, so you’ll just have to wait and see. In the event that your computer begins to fill with bees, consider calling a beekeeper to have them removed safely. In the meantime, consider subscribing to the ACT Digest, or installing our aprilfools.exe patch to instantly remediate the problem.
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